What happens to Christian loners?

Christians aren't meant to be loners.

I've heard this stated before. I know that the Bible says we should not neglect to meet together. I just never realized how important Christian fellowship is until recently.

About six months ago, the Bible study group that I had been a part of quit meeting. At the time, it didn't seem like a huge deal. Attendance had been way down anyway and it meant I had a free night to work on my projects. Besides, I was still attending church on Sundays. Over time, however, I began to sense myself feeling increasingly dissatisfied, distant with God, and truth be told, a little lonely. Looking back over the times in my life when I felt closest to God, it hit me: those were the times I was closest to other believers. I was surrounded by people who were actively pursuing Him, and they were taking me along for the ride via our discussions.

Something I've found along the way is that there is a difference between just hanging out with someone who happens to be a Christian and having meaningful fellowship. I've spent a lot of time around Christian people these few months. We watched movies, attended church, did craft projects, and had superficial “how was your past week or two?” chats. But I still found myself lonely and starved for real fellowship.

To be truly fulfilling, Christian fellowship can't be continually superficial. We need a few fellow believers who we can be close with. We need people with whom we can intentionally discuss scripture, faith, and struggles. Superficial conversations in between church services are not true fellowship. "I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know Christ’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:17b-19

Being Alone

Recently I was house-sitting for my neighbors and enjoying some much needed time on my own to study the Bible and re-charge after having had a friend visit for the prior two weeks. Just out of curiosity, I did a keyword search in the Bible for "alone". I had to admit, I was slightly surprised at my findings.

The American culture in which I live tends to idolize autonomy and encourages the "every man for himself" mentality. The Bible goes in the opposite direction. The very first mention of "alone" states "it is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). That theme seems to hold true throughout scripture, as the only positive mentions of people being alone are in reference to times when someone is away from people in order to have intimate personal communion with God (see Daniel 10:7-8, Matthew 14:23) or in order to flee from that which God doesn't want, as Jesus did when the people wanted to force him to become their earthly king (John 16:15).

The only other times the word "alone" shows up as a positive thing is when the Bible talks about God. Unlike man, when God is alone, he is glorious, powerful, and doing great works (Isaiah 37:16, Psalm 136:4, Psalm 86:10, Nehemiah 9:6).

What does this mean for us? We ought to be mindful of how we use our time alone. Peace and rest are healthy, but let us remember that even those activities ought to be done in a way that causes us to love, honor, and be thankful towards God, rather than treating ourselves as idols.